Def.: "Irony"

I LOVE finding things to laugh at while I'm driving, and it isn't usually very difficult, because there are a lot of stupid people out there in the world. Today, I was sitting behind a Ford Explorer at a stoplight on Campbell. It had the following bumper sticker:

"TEACH RESPECT for the earth and all living things."

Now, I Googled it just to make sure, but an Explorer gets less than 20 miles to the gallon.

See, this is what pisses me off. We have all these people running around going "I'm green! I'm so green! Look at me with my reusable grocery bag! And my kid wears organic cotton t-shirts!" Right. And then you drive a f***ing Ford Explorer, you hypocritical soccer mom.

This happened back in '01 after 9/11 -- everyone was soooooooooooo patriotic. Like, if you weren't overly patriotic, you were the antichrist. A friend of mine and I used to walk through the mall and get visibly angry over this, because people weren't being patriotic as a result of how they truly felt, they were being patriotic out of peer pressure. This whole "green" fad is the same thing. Now, I'm not saying being patriotic is bad, or being green is bad. In fact, I think both are good. But if you're claiming to be more patriotic or more green than you actually are, then you're a liar. And lying is bad.

So there, soccer mom.