K-I-S-X-K-C-D (experiments in alcohol)

phaiakia: i was thinking earlier today it might be fun to do a kind of drinking experiment
Mike: to test what?
phaiakia: i have no idea, that's the problem
phaiakia: i need something to test
phaiakia: i just want to do a stupid drinking experiment
Mike: how many beers does it take to make you sing the Captain Planet theme song in front of a crowd of strangers?
phaiakia: i saw a thing where randall munroe solved rubik's cubes at given time intervals during a night of drinking
phaiakia: i was thinking something more along those lines
phaiakia: something graphable
Mike: hmm
Mike: probability of you singing the Captain Planet theme song in front of a crowd of strangers as a function of beers consumed?
phaiakia: well, first of all, the probability would remain constant at zero, because i don't know the captain planet theme song
Mike: well that's no fun
phaiakia: and there would be too many variables
phaiakia: because i am much more likely to break out into song or dance if my friend erik is not present. he gets very angry if i try be drunkenly artistic in his presence
ATTENTION (12:09:06 AM): Transfer complete: Captain Planet.mp3.
Mike: ...we could plot both with or without him present

…

phaiakia: wait
phaiakia: is this about star trek?
phaiakia: because i have an unnatural and overwhelming fear of star trek
Mike: why?
phaiakia: when i was a little kid, i watched star trek with my dad
phaiakia: and later that night, had a nightmare that i was being kidnapped by a big pink alien, you know, the kind that have the princess leia ears
Mike: Ferengi
phaiakia: he like, flew off with me, and there was nothing my parents could do about it
phaiakia: it was the most terrifying dream i have ever had in my life
phaiakia: to this day, if star trek comes on the tv, i will run away instinctively
Mike: you didn't watch Menage-a-Troi did you?
phaiakia: uhm, like porn?
Mike: no
Mike: it's the name of an episode
phaiakia: i don't know
Mike: in which some Ferengi kidnap Dianna and Lwaxana Troi
phaiakia: well, i suppose that would make sense
phaiakia: i was only 5 years old
phaiakia: so i don't really remember, plus i've tried to block it out of my mind
Mike: and I don't know if I should be happy or scared that I correctly spelled "Lwaxana" without having to look it up
phaiakia: lol
phaiakia: OMG! I HAVE A DRINKING EXPERIMENT!
Mike: do tell
phaiakia: well, when i am drinking, i make more typing errors, right?
phaiakia: so i have to correct them
phaiakia: because i am totally OCD
Mike: I can accept those premises
phaiakia: so correcting them takes time
phaiakia: which can easily be measured by my response time
Mike: not so much
Mike: you're measuring two variables
phaiakia: well, not response to your messages
phaiakia: but say it's a message i'm typing
phaiakia: so we measure how fast i type messages when not drunk...
Mike: your time to reply is the word integral of your error rate plus your typing speed
Mike: with appropriate coefficients
phaiakia: OH MY GOD
phaiakia: you are being difficult
Mike: I'm sorry
Mike: I'm trying to help
phaiakia: lol, "difficult" is not an insult in my book
phaiakia: it's a compliment
Mike: oh
Mike: you're welcome then
phaiakia: lol
phaiakia: but you get what i'm going for, right?
phaiakia: measure typing skill when drunk vs. not drunk
Mike: you want to see if you have a typing version of the Ballmer peak
phaiakia: oh, i wasn't even thinking of the ballmer peak
phaiakia: well, i kinda was
phaiakia: my students have decided i'm going to marry randall munroe, by the way
phaiakia: like, they write stuff on my whiteboards.
Mike: Gamo and Randall sitting in a tree
Mike: K-I-S-X-K-C-D
phaiakia: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
phaiakia: OMG, that was amazing
phaiakia: i'm still laughing
Mike: :)