omg! like have a great summer! call me 555-1234

I had two students come to me with entire blank pages in their yearbooks, and a list of bulleted points they wanted me to address when I signed their books. Here's what resulted (inside joke warning):

"Dear J~~~...
Please take this summer to work on your inflated ego. And also to learn how to treat women, because they don't usually like it when you break up with them in a text message. Here's the list of things you wanted me to mention:
* ManCoaster -- 'go big or go home.' I will keep the ManCoaster, so check back next year and we'll see if it held up over the summer.
* The PLRL -- as far as I know, you are still the Plumb Line Racing League record holder.
* The bird -- seriously, who brings a bird into physics? An actual bird?
* Your man crush on T~~~~~f. I am not sorry about this. A man crush does not imply homosexuality, just that T~~~~~f is a very good friend of yours. You know, like Achilles and Patroclus. Look it up.
* Nut Ball -- you are retarded.
* Your nerd voice -- I think the funniest part about this is that your brother had no idea what I was talking about when I asked him to do the "J~~~ voice."
Also, I maintain that you giggle like a woman and that you also have a man crush on S~~~~~. 'Woman.' --Miss G.
P.S. Murderball... the guy in the wheelchair."

"WIKIPEDIA.
S~~~~~, A~~~~~. A physics student who frequently makes unintentional sexual outbursts in class. He does homework in his bedsheets (then leaves it there and uses that as an excuse) and he drinks coffee in the shower. He enjoys reading about pretty much anything that is not related to his physics assignments, including Sealand, which was almost destroyed in a one-man coup-de-etat.
A~~~~~ came up with the term "Captain Gamo" to describe his teacher, Miss G, with whom he shares many strange OCD tendencies, like walking oddly across floor tiles. Though A~~~~~ has a generous vocabulary, he once took a vow of silence against this same teacher. (He also asked G to be a dodgeball referee, forcing her to wear an incredibly ridiculous outfit.)
A~~~~~ is best known for introducing Miss G's 6th period to the loquat, and for getting his finger stuck in the lab desk, a feat which required large amounts of lotion to remedy.
[citation needed]"

I actually did underline all those words in the yearbook to make it look like a Wikipedia article. Obviously I added the links just for this blog.